What is striking me today is the word “confidence.” I have often been known I should let go and let God. I have sometimes been willing to do so. And sometimes I have even done it, but have I been confident–rarely.
Well, I take that back, there are areas where I AM confident. I am always clear that for every problem there is a solution. I am clear that I often don’t know what the solution is. And I am clear that the solution will come. I have a LOT of trust in the creative process because I have noticed in years of writing term papers, meeting deadlines, and paying bills that even when I have no idea where the paper, the energy, the idea or the money is going to come from, it does come and it generally comes on time.
Yet right now, while I’m on leave from work due to debilitating energy depletion, I am super frustrated by not knowing when I’m going to be well, what I can do and what I can’t do. I want to try to control things so that I can feel ok and I have no control whatsoever–I know that there will be answers and things will resolve, but I feel like I lack the confidence to simply let go. Well, I guess I have to do it anyway.
*If you are just joining our show in progress, meditate on this for 15 minutes today. You can start the meditations any day, don’t worry about the day it says it is, but then do it for 40 days. At any time you can look ahead or behind and see how it works by going to this link: How to do the 40 day Meditation Program