Would Jesus Want to Bash in the Windshield of Every SUV he Sees with a Baseball Bat?



Lately snichols hears a lot of talk about What Would Jesus Drive? as a question about the morality of driving SUVs, and she is in complete agreement with all of it. snichols viscerally hates SUVs. Literally. Every time snichols sees one (the big ones, she means) she feels her blood rising, her pulse accelerating, bile coming up in her mouth. And she starts kind of actively scanning the area for a baseball bat or an indelible marker.

But the Buddhists (and others) say that whenever you hate you hate a part of yourself, that the strength of your reaction is an indication of serious healing work that needs to be done. And snichols wonders whether Jesus’s fingers would be as itchy for the bat as hers are. Jesus might not drive an SUV, but would he hate them?

Then there’s the problem of SUV owners–snichols knows and loves a lot of them. It puts snichols to mind of the classic lyric to Mary Poppins “Sister Suffragette” (apropo of men there) “…though we adore them individually, we agree that, as a group, they’re ra-ther stu-pid–oh, cast off the shackles of yesterday! Shoulder to shoulder into the fray…”

What part of SUVs (and their owners) is in snichols? Does snichols secretly want to own a stretch hummer limo? We don’t think so. Yet snichols may consume overly much in all kinds of other ways. snichols is a leather-guzzling shoe hog for example and lately she is an absolute humous pig, depleting the world’s supply of garbanzo beans by the minute.