A free abundant life comes with many many choices, everything from whether to call yourself vegan, plant-based or reducetarian to what job to accept and where to live can be frought if you don’t have a system for making those choices. I have never perceived myself as having trouble making decisions. When I was much younger I unconsciously arranged things so that events seem to be making my choices rather than I. I would sell my qualities to multiple prospective employers and lovers simultaneously without putting much thought into which I actually wanted. I left them to sort out whether they wanted me and then if I still had a choice to make, I awkwardly made it (or didn’t, which could be even more awkward).
Since I started consciously (instead of unconsciously) creating my experience I have evolved some methods for deciding what comes next for me. Here are some of the ones I use (none of which are original to me. I borrowed them all from others, many of them from one particular person). Perhaps I’ll flesh one or two out more in subsequent posts. Feel free to ask me questions:
These days I try to concentrate on a feeling that I want to have in a given area rather than what will deliver that feeling.
Then I spend time each day sitting and imagining what that feeling is that I want, spending time feeling it right now instead of waiting for something to change to give it to me.
When a choice comes up, I’ll put my hand on my chest and I’ll feel into it. What does that choice feel like? If it matches the feeling I want to have, I might choose it even if I don’t understand why or how it will lead me in the direction.
If I have trouble dialing into the feeling of it, I sometimes picture a candle flame burning brightly in my chest. When I picture the decision I look at the candle flame. Does the idea of making that choice make the flame burn brighter and stronger? or does it make it flicker or even blow out?
Sometimes I tear up a bunch of pieces of paper and write on the back of each one a choice I am considered and them turn them over and shuffle them up. I spread them out on the floor and I put my hand over each one and feel how it is. Does it feel light and spacious? that’s a yes. or does it feel heavy and stuck? that’s a no.
I could definitely write a whole post on how heavy and stuck used to be something I would gravitate to while I now run from it.
Action is not that important, but choosing is. Often it matters less what I choose than that I choose.
