For the past few years, I’ve gotten pretty good at “getting through” challenging periods of life without using extra food, treats, or other destructive behaviors to cope. But the “day after” is another matter. What can I do to rid myself of “day after syndrome?”
Whether the “temporary” challenge is something as common as the holidays, a houseguest or a busy time at work, or whether its a big transition like a close relative dying, a move or a job loss, my thinking is the same: I can get through this.
That thinking is MUCH better than my previous belief which was “I can get through this with more X” where X = your favorite substance or coping mechanism. Mine are eating (or eating foods that don’t serve me), hyper scheduling, controlling, manipulating, managing, spending, diet cokes, Twitter and streaming the golden age of television. Others might include alcohol, cigarettes, other drugs, porn, gambling or Pinterest (please tell me its not Pinterest).
Miraculously, for years with a lot of help, I’ve been able to get through many of life’s challenges without over-using X to cope or wind down or reward myself. One day at a time, I no longer believe or need to act upon these thoughts “this is too much for me without (overdoing) X,” “I just need X until …” “I can’t quit (overdoing) X until I get through…”
Now December 25th or 31st isn’t the issue; its the day after Christmas or New Year’s that kicks my butt. My old neural pathways which have lain dormant or rerouted during the holidays or the stressful period are still very much alive and available to lead me to (overdo) X. The day after whatever they kick in with the very interesting idea “you made through! Congratulations! You deserve a reward!” (and guess what that reward idea always is, a return to X)
There are two questions that help me to avoid a Day After Doomsday. The most important (and most difficult to believe) thought is this: is it possible that there is no such thing as a day after because there was never anything to “get through?” Life is life and it contains multiple challenges. The very notion that there is something to “get through” may be a unhelpful belief which if carried to its logical extension applies to all of life. Do I want to live my whole life as something to “get through?”
