I’m trying to blog every single day. The result? I often will have very little to say. Some snippets. Last night I hosted an alumni function in the common house of my cohousing community. Everyone in the greater Sacramento area was invited. The RSVPs weren’t to me, but to the Reed College alumni office. They were shared with me shortly before the event.
My heart leapt as I saw the name of my close friend & vital organ Harry Mersmann on the list. Wow! Harry’s coming all the way from Stockton. It’ll be so good to see him. I wonder why he didn’t reply directly to me? Probably wants to surprise me.
Yesterday, while carefully slicing pears for the fruit & cheese tray, I learned that of all the RSVPs, one had sent their regrets that day, Harry. He would not be in attendance. I felt sad and immediately wondered if he would have come if I had contacted him upon learning of his intentions? Would he have come if he had contacted me?
Over and over I learn that we can’t underestimate the value of direct communication between people (no matter what the relationship). In the hubbub (what kind of a word is hubbub? is it onomatopoetic? why does it have so many “bs”?) of middle-aged life, squeezed by family and work, whether or not we keep any optional commitments may really come down to the degree of human contact or effort used to make them. How do we most often communicate: in person, email, mail, phone, just through the alumni office or, worst of all, by blog?
Well, now….
I rsvped to the alumni office ’cause that’s what they said to do. Thought it mighty odd, but hell, I’ve always been a rule follower.
Seemed like kismet, Sara +stories about Reed, but I was called into a mandatory meeting at the UU church and all the warm fuzzies done fled out the window.
Thanks for the blog, thanks for the good you do in the world, thanks for being my friend (even though I rarely see you).
Keep on rockin’ girl,
Harry)
Every day in cohousing (Berkeley for me) I see the same thing, Sara: direct communication saves time, avoids problems, and the lack of it creates them. It’s so “easy” seeming to make up rules or talk in the abstract about someone or something that’s bothering you, and it takes work, initiative, and sometimes courage to actually engage and connect and problem-solve directly with whoever you’ve got issues with (or vice versa). But it’s worth it, every time.
Raines
P.S. Wave hi to the tourbus when it comes through on Saturday; it’ll be here a couple of hours later!