My husband and I just finished binging the third season of The Bear on Hulu.*
The story of a highly dysfunctional family (you discover just how dysfunctional over the course of the series) trying to run a restaurant is, as all critics will and probably have told you, by turns hilarious, too close to real life for some, hence tragic. It’s won Emmys. It’s must-see TV. Etc.
But what critics may not tell you is the real lessons to be learned from watching a team of damaged people try to bring something beautiful and magical to life.
For today, it’s time to explore this truth from The Bear: we are all “chefs.”
Having spent exactly no time in the kitchen of a top restaurant, I have no idea whether they call every single person at every level of the operation “chef,” but they certainly do on The Bear. Whether it’s the top chef, the sous chef, a busboy, the guy fixing the video games or the toilet, or even any of “the Faks” (of the many unexplained “cousins”), they’re all called “Chef” in this universe.
And that’s their name, not their title.
“Yes, Chef.”
“Right away, Chef.”
“I got it, Chef.”
Sometimes, inexplicably, people are called “Jeff” instead of “Chef,” but it doesn’t matter, they’re all Chefs and they’re all Jeffs.
And, more importantly, we’re all Chefs and we’re all Jeffs.
Calling everyone Chef recognizes that we’re all leaders.
Calling everyone Jeff reminds me not to get too full of my Chef stuff.
My husband and I are enjoying calling each other “Chef/Jeff,” lately too as in:
Hey Chef, did you remember to cancel the Farm Box for the next 3 weeks while we’re out of town?
Yes, Chef. Did you remember to bring your passport in case we take a quick trip to Canada?
Yes, Chef. I said YES, Jeff
What if we saw everyone in our life as a “chef”? Supposedly true humility is to be neither above nor below anyone else. I’ve spent my whole life trying to compensate for a sense that something’s wrong with me by impressing other people. What if I could just stop trying to impress and be clear that we’re all chefs, so we’re all impressive?
And, at the end of the day, we’re all just freakin’ Jeffs too who want to sit back, crack open a can of cold seltzer and watch other people try to run the perfect kitchen without killing themselves or others.
*I had just finished seasons 1 and 2 (everyone else seems to have watched them years ago).