as we saw in my post on march 19th, i find myself going in and out of various stages with this shut-down. stage two is anger.
anger at making such a big deal. at first i was angry that people were making such a big deal out of something that was clearly just another flu. people die every year, do we really have to tank the entire economy over it and bring everything to a freaking halt? just wash your hands, don’t touch your face and if you have symptoms, hole up in your house. i still go in and out of thinking that because it all seems so very extreme and unsustainable.
anger at other people remaining in denial. once i realized that i could easily be a carrier of the disease being completely asymptomatic and that when the symptoms are at their most extreme its a terrible way to die, i started taking responsibility for myself and seeing the logical extensions of it. they say converts are the most zealous so having hung out in denial almost to the bitter end, when i flipped, i flipped hard and started judging everyone else for not social distancing.
anger at the white house for not preventing this or fully funding public health/cdc. having exhausted the people around me to be angry at, i turn to the figure i’m most comfortable being angry at.
angry at democrats for thinking that joe biden would be better at handling this kind of crisis than bernie sanders even when it’s patently obvious to me that he wouldn’t. just because he can occasionally sound comforting doesn’t mean he’s a good leader. once again americans seem to be who they want to see on tv rather than who would actually prevent this from happening again. i can see that i’m still really in this one.
